English 015 - Americans Abroad
Indifference: A Coping Mechanism
Indifference: A Coping Mechanism
Category: 4E: O'Brien | Ross Stern
The fear of death and the purposelessness accompanied with it plague Paul Berlin’s psyche in Tim O’Brien’s Going After Cacciato. Berlin attempts to escape his fears by using his imagination to desert the Vietnam War; however, Berlin’s flight of imagination has quite the opposite effect. Rather than allowing him to escape, Berlin’s imagination forces him to repeatedly confront his fear of death, the entity that controls his actions during the war. After constant personal confrontation and a great deal of thought, Berlin finally finds the tool that allows him to cope with his affliction—indifference.
From the beginning of the novel Paul Berlin makes it extremely clear that he fears death: “the war scared him silly…” (p. 38). On numerous occasions the reader witnesses Berlin’s trepidation when examining his reactions to the death’s of his comrades. Images of death constantly plague Berlin: “Paul Berlin was suddenly struck between the eyes by a vision of murder. Butchery, no less: Cacciato’s right temple caving inward, silence, then an enormous explosion of outward-going brains. It scared him” (p. 14). On another occasion Paul Berlin describes the death of Frenchie Tucker upon entering a tunnel: “His feet were still showing when he was shot. The feet thrashed like swimmer’s feet…He swore and went down headfirst and then was shot half an inch below the throat” (p.90). Berlin also witnesses Billy Boy Watkins actually die from the fear of death; Paul Berlin closely relates to this fear. Billy Boy’s foot is blown off by a mine, an injury that would get him out of the war but not kill him. However, “[Billy Boy] got scared. His face went pale and the veins in his arms and neck popped out” (p.216). Billy Boy Watkins was “scared to death” (p.217). He died of a heart attack. With good reason Paul Berlin fears death; however, there is another element of his psyche magnifies his fear of death—the purposelessness of death.
Paul Berlin has no personal feelings invested in the war: “He had no stake in the war beyond simple survival” (p.273). His “only goal was to live long enough to establish goals worth living for still longer…” (p.27). Berlin fails to find any purpose in the war: “They did not have targets. They did not have a cause. They did not know if it was a war of ideology or economics or hegemony or spite” (p.270). Because Berlin finds no purpose in fighting the war, he also finds no purpose is dying for an unknown cause, a pointless cause; he fears the purposelessness that may accompany his death. “Without purpose men will run…It is purpose that keeps men at their posts to fight” (p.199). Using his imagination Paul Berlin does run; he tries to escape his fear of death and the purposelessness accompanied with it.
In his flight of imagination, the more Paul Berlin tries to escape his fear of death by chasing Cacciato to Paris, the city of peace negotiations, the more it haunts him. Visions of death continuously re-appear in Berlin’s dream world forcing him to confront his fear. Berlin describes the worlds greatest lake country: “They found bomb craters full of the dead—scrawny little men, many of them burned, and the stench was terrible…Paul Berlin could not stop the silly twitching. Then late in the morning, it rained. The craters filled with gray water…the charred bodies of the dead bobbed to the surface, bloated” (p.178). On another occasion during the imaginary pursuit, Berlin attends the execution of a twenty-year-old man who is found AWOL. Berlin does not want to watch, but Doc forces him to: “You watch this shit” (p.186). Here Paul Berlin looks death in the face realizing that a soldier, “Can’t get away from it…You try, you run like hell, but you just can’t get away” (p.184). Berlin’s subconscious tells him that no matter what he does he cannot escape his fear of death. Berlin describes his inability to run from death on other occasions: “It was the soldier’s greatest dream—fierce, hard, desperate full out running…Like that time in the mountains, twitching, not wanting to die, twitching and cowering and imagining how far and how fast he would run if he were only able” (p.243). Gruesome images of death plague Paul Berlin’s imagination. He cannot escape these images no matter how far he runs. Once again this inescapable fear of death is accompanied by the purposelessness that it seems to have.
This purposelessness in death also haunts Paul Berlin as he desperately tries to escape it. Berlin uses Cacciato as the vehicle by which he will overcome a death lacking meaning in a war with an unknown cause: “Chasing down Cacciato, it’s been sort of a mission” (p.304). Berlin’s pursuit of Cacciato gives his life meaning, which in turn gives his looming death meaning. However, Berlin cannot truly escape his affliction. On his imaginary journey Berlin constantly questions, “What the hell was he doing here?...Why had they left the war? What was the purpose of it?” (p.172). Berlin desperately struggles to answer these questions, trying to establish a firm purpose in the war so that his death is not in vain. His confrontations with purposelessness often come out in a string of random, impulsive thoughts: “He didn’t know who was right or what was right; he didn’t know if it was a war of self determination or self destruction, outright aggression or natural liberation…he didn’t know who really started the war, or why, or when, or with what motives; he didn’t know if it mattered” (p.264). Unfortunately, Paul Berlin never finds concrete answers to these questions, even after constant confrontation with and examination of his problems. However, during his imaginary journey, Paul Berlin does find the tool that helps him to cope with his fear of death and its purposelessness—indifference.
At the end of his journey Paul Berlin does not conquer his overpowering fear of death or the purposelessness that accompanies it. He repeatedly battles both and still cannot find resolve. Only one option exists for Berlin at the end of the novel—indifference. Berlin specifically reaches this indifference after his imaginary “discussion” with Sarkin Aung Wan at the end of the novel. He and Sarkin Aung Wan sit across from each other at a table in the Majestic Hotel. Each of them lays out one side of the conflicting issues in Berlin’s head. Sarkin Aung Wan, representing Berlin’s fears, oddly suggests, “Do not let fear stop you. Do not be frightened by ridicule or censure or embarrassment…” (p.318). Paul Berlin represents the other side of his psyche, the side attempting to justify the war, the side trying to establish a purpose: “I don’t pretend to be an expert on matters of obligation, either moral or contractual, but I do know when I feel obliged…I knew what I was getting into. I knew it might be unpleasant. And I made promises with that full understanding” (p. 319). At the end of the conversation “They do not look at eachother. There is no true negotiation. There is only the statement of positions… The amplification system buzzes indifferently” (p.321). There is no resolve to any of Berlin’s fears including his fear of death. The conflicting issues are stated and that is all; this lack of discussion of the issues shows that Berlin ultimately finds no purpose in anything and simply comes to accept his current situation. He feels indifference towards death and the war. Paul Berlin claims himself the Vietnam War is “A war like any war. No new messages. Stories that began and ended without transition. No developing drama or tension or direction. No order” (p.287). Berlin displays his new indifferent attitude towards death in one of the novel’s final scenes at the observation post.
Paul Berlin is now fully awake and no longer dreaming. Here he outwardly displays his indifference to death: “The war was still a war, and he was still a soldier. He hadn’t run…Billy Boy had died of fright. Buff was dead. Ready Mix was dead. Rudy Chassler was dead. Pederson was dead. Sydney Martin and Bernie Lynn had died in tunnels. Those were all facts, and he could face them squarely” (p.323). Berlin lacks compassion and emotion when listing off these names; he feels detached from the death all around him, he feels indifferent to it. Berlin can now face death and accept purposelessness; these two closely related entities will no longer control him.
Unfortunately, Berlin never actually conquers his fear of death or the purposeless that accompanies it in Vietnam; he simply finds the method that gives him the ability the cope with his fears. Berlin never needed to conquer fear, he only needed to suppress it. Fear is not necessarily a bad thing; it increases an individual’s awareness and prevents reckless action. However, when fear becomes overbearing to the point where it completely controls an individual, it becomes a force that needs to be dealt with. That is exactly what Berlin’s imagination helped him to do—not conquer fear, but deal with it.
Posted by on December 15, 2003 at 04:08 PM