nothingness of scorn and noise

Although the title of "I Am" and first line proclaim existence, much of John Clare's poem is about the meaninglessness of living. Indeed, there is a definite ethos of nihlism, particularly when he posits that life puts him "into the nothingness of scorn and noise." The "harmonious madness" of Shelley is not present; instead, Clare is unequivocally positioned on the side of darkness, where he "live(s) with shadows tost". Even in the sublime "waking dreams" that could be tinged with some quality of radiating happiness, "there is neither sense of life nor joy." It would seem that imagination's phantasmagoria would be an indication of life, but this is not the case for Clare. He wallows in his own misery: " I am the self-consumer of my woes." Rather than indulging in self-depracation, he should merely try to make meaning of his existence in this world. There is no need to long for death, where he can explore "scenes where man has never trod" and contact God; instead, he merely must relinquish his nihlism, and actually start to be in the present. By introspecting and finding existential nuggets in his own soul, he can stop the martyrdom and redeem his perception.